FANTASTIC MESSAGE

*FANTASTIC MSG..!*
How Can You "SM_LE"
Without *"I"* ?
How Can You Be "F_NE"
Without *"I"* ?
How Can You "W_SH"
Without *"I"* ?
How Can You Be "N_CE"
Without *"I"* ?
How Can You Be "FR_END"
Without *"I"* ?
*"I"* Am Very Important!
But This *"I"* Can Never Achieve "S_CCESS" nor Can "LA_GH" Without all of *"U"* ......
And
That Makes *"U"* More Important Than *"I"*..

TEN ADVICES from a Supreme Court JUDGE

TEN ADVICES  from a Supreme Court JUDGE who handled Family Dispute Courts:

1.Don't encourage your son and his wife to stay under same roof with you. Best to suggest them to move out, even to the extent of renting a house.  It's their problem to find a separate home.
More the distance between you and your children's families, the better is the relationship with your in laws.

2.Treat your son's wife as his wife, not as your own daughter, maybe just treat her as a friend. Your son would always be your Junior  but, if you think that his wife is of the same rank and if you ever scolded her, she would  remember it for life.
In real life, only her own mother and not u will be viewed as a person qualified to scold or correct her.

3.Whatever habits or characters your son's wife has is not your problem at all, it is your  son's problem. It isn't  your problem as he is an adult already.

4.Even when living together, make each others businesses clear, don't do their laundry, don't cook for them and don't baby sit their children. Unless, of course, there is a special request by your son's wife and you feel that you're capable and don't expect anything in return.
Most importantly, you shouldn't worry about your son's family problems. Let them settle themselves

5.Pretend to be blind and deaf when your son and his wife are quarrelling.  It's normal that the young couple do not like their parents to be involved in the dispute between husband and wife.

6.Your grandchildren totally belong to your son and his wife. However they want to raise their children,  it is up to them.  The credit or blame would be on them.

7.Your son's wife need not necessarily  respect and serve you. It is the son's duty.  You should have taught your son to be a better person so that you and your son's wife relationship could be better.

8.Do more planning for your own retirement, don't rely on your children to take care of  your retirement. You had already walked through most of your journey in life, there are still a lot of new things to learn through out the journey.

9.It is your own interest that you enjoy your retirement years.  Better if you could utilise & enjoy everything that you had saved before you die.  Don't let your wealth become worthless to you.

10.Grandchildren don't belong to your family, they're their parents precious gift.

*PLEASE NOTE*
_This message is not only for you. Please share it with your friends,  parents, in-laws, uncles, aunties, husband or wife to find peace & progress in life as it is *based on life long experience* of a *judge* who handled *family dispute courts*.

Beauty

A very pretty woman entered into an aircraft and started looking for her seat. She noticed that her seat is next to a person with both hands missing. She hesitated to sit next to him.
That ‘pretty’ woman told the airhostess that she can’t sit in her assigned seat and travel comfortably sitting next to that no-arms person; and asked the airhostess to change her seat. The airhostess enquired “Ma’am may I know the reason”?
The ‘pretty’ lady replied: “I don’t like such people. I don’t like sitting next to such people and travel”. The airhostess was shocked to hear this from this lady who in appearance looked like a well-mannered and polite person. The ‘pretty’ lady again told the airhostess that she did not want that seat and demanded the airhostess to find her a different seat.
The airhostess asked the lady to be patient for a little bit and said she will try her best to accommodate her request; and looked around for an empty seat. She couldn’t find any.
The airhostess returned to the lady and said, “Madam! All the seats in this economy class are full. But then for the comfort of our travelers it is our policy to satisfy them to our utmost. So, I will talk to the captain and kindly be patient a bit longer”. Saying so, she went to see the captain.
After some time she returned and told the lady, “Madam! We are very sorry for the discomfort to you. In this entire aircraft, there is only one seat vacant and that is in First class. I talked to our team and we took an extraordinary decision. To send a traveler from economy class to First class is happening for the first time in our company history……”.
The ‘pretty’ lady was becoming so ecstatic and even before uttering a word…. The airhostess turned to the person with no arms and said, “Sir, May you please move to the First class? We want to eliminate the tragedy of you traveling next to a manner-less person.”  Hearing this every one clapped immensely and welcomed the decision. The ‘pretty’ lady was tremendously felt ashamed.
Then the person stood up and said, “I am a ex-serviceman and I lost my both arms in a bomb blast in Kashmir border during an operation. At first, when I heard the lady talk, I thought: did I put my life at risk for these kind of people? But after looking at their actions and your all response, I feel proud that I lost my both arms for my country.” And saying so, he walked into the First class.
The ‘pretty’ lady drowned into the seats fully ashamed.

Beauty is not in what is seen in face and body. Beauty in a good person is in his/her lofty thoughts.

Lesson of life

President Xi Jing Peng of China said:

When I was a small child, I was very selfish, always grab the best for myself. Slowly, everyone left me and I had no friends. I didn’t think it was my fault but criticize others.

My father gave me 3 sentences to help me in life.

One day, my father cooked 2 bowls of noodles put the 2 bowls on the table. One bowl has one egg on top and the other bowl does not have any egg on top. He said, ”My child. You choose. Which bowl do u want. ”Eggs were hard to come by those days! Only get to eat eggs during festivals or New Year. Of Cos I chose the bowl with egg! As we started eating. I was congratulating myself on my wise choice/decisision and wallop up the egg. Then to my surprise as my father ate his noodles, there were TWO eggs at the bottom of his bowl beneath the noodes! I regretted so much! And scolded myself for being too hasty in my decision. My father smiled and sad to me ,"My child. You must remember what your eyes see may not be true. And if you intent on taking advantage of people, you will end up losing!”

The next day, my father again cooked 2 bowls of noodles: one bowl with an egg on top and the other bowl with no egg on top. Again, he put the two bowls on the table and said to me,”My child. You choose. Which bowl do you want? ”This time I am smarter. I chose the bowl without any egg on top. To my surprise, As I separated the noodles on top, there was not even a single egg at the bottom of the bowl!Again my father smiled and said to me,”My child. You must not always rely on experiences Cos sometimes, life can cheat you or play tricks on you. But you must not be too annoyed or sad, just treat this as learning a lesson .You cannot Learn this from textbooks.

The third day, my father again cooked 2 bowls of noodles, again one bowl with an egg on top and the other bowl with no egg on top. He put the 2 bowls on the table and again said to me ,”My child. You choose. Which bowl do u want? ”This time, I told my father,”Dad, u choose first. You are the head of the family and contributed the most to the family,”My father did not decline and chose the bowl with one egg on top. As I eat my bowl of noodles, Sure in my heart that there is no egg inside the bowl. To my surprise! There were TWO eggs at the bottom of the bowl.

My father smiled at me with love in his eyes,”My child, you must remember! When you think for the good of others, good things will always naturally happen to you!”

I always remember these 3 sentences of my father and lived and do my business accordingly. True Enough , my business was a roaring success.

Xi Jing Ping

Beautiful letter written by a father to his son and daughter

Beautiful letter written by a father to his son and daughter

Must send to your children

Following is a letter to his daughter from a renowned Hong Kong TV broadcaster and Child Psychologist.
The words are actually applicable to all of us, young or old, children or parents.!
This applies to all sons & daughters too.
All parents can use this in their teachings to their children.

Dear Children,

I am writing this to you because of 3 reasons

*A).* Life, fortune and mishaps are unpredictable, nobody knows how long he lives.
*B).* I am your father, and if I don't tell you these, no one else will.
*C).* Whatever written is my own personal bitter experiences that perhaps could save you a lot of unnecessary heartaches.

*Remember the following as you go through life*

*1.* Do not bear grudge towards those who are not good to you. No one has the responsibility of treating you well, except your mother and I.
To those who are good to you, you have to treasure it and be thankful, and ALSO you have to be cautious, because, everyone has a motive for every move. When a person is good to you, it does not mean he really will be good to you. You have to be careful, don't hastily regard him as a real friend.

*2.* No one is indispensable, nothing is in the world that you must possess.
Once you understand this idea, it would be easier for you to go through life when people around you don't want you anymore, or when you lose what you wanted the most.

*3.* Life is short.
When you waste your life today, tomorrow you would find that life is leaving you. The earlier you treasure your life, the better you enjoy life.

*4.* Love is nothing but a transient feeling, and this feeling would fade with time and with one's mood. If your so called loved one leaves you, be patient, time will wash away your aches and sadness.
Don't over exaggerate the beauty and sweetness of love, and don't over exaggerate the sadness of falling out of love.

*5.* A lot of successful people did not receive a good education, that does not mean that you can be successful by not studying hard! Whatever knowledge you gain is your weapon in life.
One can go from rags to riches, but one has to start from some rags!

*6.* I do not expect you to financially support me when I am old, neither  would I financially support your whole life. My responsibility as a supporter ends when you are grown up. After that, you decide whether  you want to travel in a public transport or in your limousine, whether rich or poor.

*7.* You honour your words, but don't expect others to be so. You can be good to people, but don't expect people to be good to you. If you don't understand this, you would end up with unnecessary troubles.

*8.* I have bought lotteries for umpteen years, but could never strike any prize. That shows if you want to be rich, you have to work hard! There is no free lunch!

*9.* No matter how much time I have with you, let's treasure the time we have together. We do not know if we would meet again in our next life.

                 *Your Parents*

Read it twice
Ask your son and daughter to read it thrice.
Worth a read

PARRENTING

PARRENTING IS A GREAT TASK TO IMPROVE NEXT GENERATION*

“How do you feel about what your kids are doing?”

“Resentful. Angry. I’m full of despair. I feel like a failure.”

“He’s ruining our family. What will be the effect on our other kids?”

“We’re hitting rock bottom.”

I said: I’m not an expert in parenting — just a fellow traveler. Here is what I’ve learned from walking the path with my children.

Step #1: It’s not about you. Let go of your ego.

Your ego is telling you — it’s about ME, as a mother or father. The voice in your head pushing: “How can she do this to ME? He is ruining MY Shabbat! I(!) am angry, I(!) am resentful, I(!) am full of despair” — that’s coming from your ego. It’s your “Me” voice, putting you in the center and convincing you that your relationship with your child is really about how YOU are doing.

For too long, my ego told me to worry about how this reflected on me as a father and educator to others. I felt a lot of anger, resentment, and despair.

But God entrusted specifically you to raise, nurture, and support this child. Of all the possible parents in the world, God chose you to be the parents of these kids. You have a responsibility — a mission.

Your rebellious, insolent, disrespectful kid is trying to figure out who he or she is. That’s what adolescence is about. Moving from childhood to adulthood shouldn’t be easy. For kids, moving from their parents’ voices to their own voice is one of the most demanding tasks of their lives. Many people never do it, remaining obedient children their whole lives. Yet most of us want our kids to be independent and find their own voice — on condition that it is the same as ours.

When I ask kids who have rejected the lifestyle and religious approach of their parents what they want, they always tell me the same thing:

“I want to be seen and heard as myself. I don’t want to be judged. I don’t want to be loved with an agenda. I don’t want to be compared to other kids. I just want my parents to see and hear me.”

That’s all. Not complicated. They don’t want our sage advice or the wisdom of our experience. They want to be seen and heard. What we might call an “I-Thou” relationship.

Do we have any idea how pained and broken are the kids who are not seen or heard?

There is only one place in the world where kids can be unconditionally nurtured and supported — their home. Friends come and go; they have their own paths and lives to discover. School and work are full of pressure and demands. These kids are walking the high-wire in life and their only safety net is the love and support their parents provide. What is the result of love and support becoming conditional? What happens when the parents remove the net?

Brokenness.

There is a bond between parents and children that is meant to last a lifetime. It is irreplaceable. If the safety net becomes conditional, or worse yet, is removed, then both the parents and the kids experience a scarring which, unless seriously addressed, will impact the rest of their lives and permeate all of their relationships. The brokenness doesn’t go away. It plays out in the eventual families of these kids, in their marriages and their relationships with their own children. It is a generational brokenness.

I ask the parents:

“You know that you love your kid, but if I were to ask your child if s/he feels fully loved, what do you think s/he would say?”

Their faces go white. Silence. Finally, in a barely audible whisper: “Probably not.”

Step #2: Risk everything. It’s worth it.

Parenting is the loneliest profession. And it can make us feel utterly alone. When I reached rock bottom as a father, everything else in my life became irrelevant. Career became incidental. I could only pray: “Please God give me the wisdom to know what to do — because everything I’m trying is not working.” And God gave me what I needed: the ability to love my child even when he was confounding my family.

I wish a friend had said to me: “Why don’t you ask him? Why don’t you ask your kid what he needs from you? Now?”

If a friend had offered that suggestion, I would have received it like a punch in the gut. “What? Isn’t that turning upside-down the parent-child relationship? And even more — what if he asks me for something I can’t give? Like accepting him?”

If I had one do-over as a parent, I wish it had occurred to me to ask him, and then had the courage to do so.

A question like, “What do you need from me, as your parent?” is like pushing all of your chips to the center of the poker table. There is a moment of breathlessness that is frightening. It is scary to be “all-in.”

But our kids deserve and need us to be utterly vulnerable, risk-taking, and “all-in.” That’s walking the walk of loving our kids.

Step #3: It’s about your kid.

Listen, love, and support. Even when they make different decisions than you did, decisions that may break your heart.

I offer a new approach. I ask the parents:

“What if you tried to listen and see your kid — where he or she is?

What if, instead of giving your daughter “the look” when she wears a tank top, you asked her: “Where do you go shopping for your tank tops? Would you like to go together?”

What if, instead of giving your son “the look” when he talks about eating treif, you asked him with a smile: “What’s the tastiest treif you’ve eaten?”

The parents blanch at my words. I think the mother is going to be sick right in front of me. She says: “I could never do that. Do I have to agree with them?! What about my values?”

No, of course, you don’t have to agree with everything they do. But you do have to hear them; you have to hear them for where they are.

I ask: “Do you want to keep reminding them of your values? How is that working for you?! Isn’t that how you got to rock bottom? More importantly, your kids already know your values. They don’t miss a beat. They could write your script for you! They know what you’re going to say and when you don’t say it, they know what you’re thinking.

“What they don’t know is: will you still love and support them if they make different life decisions than you? Will you only love and support them if they are just like you? As they begin their journeys as adults, will you still treat them as children?”

The parents respond:

“But what will be the effect on our other kids if they see us supporting them when they are making decisions antithetical to ours?!”

I suggest:

“Your other kids will learn that you are a very loving parent. That your love is unconditional. That you will always be there for them, no matter what. They will learn from you how to love other people who have made different choices.”

Adolescence is tricky and dangerous. It is possible to make mistakes during those few years that reverberate for a lifetime. It is possible to scar and lose a child — forever. I remind the parents — take a deep breath and look at the marathon of parenting. Don’t you want to have a full unbroken relationship with your kids when they are in their 20s, 30s, and later? Or do you want to join the huge fraternity of parents who have damaged their relationship with their kids because of turbulent adolescent years, and now suffer through an empty shell of a relationship?

Finally, I offer the parents some homework:

Write a letter from your kid to you. Describe how you (in the voice of your kid) would like you (the parent) to love and support him/her. Write what you think your kid is desperate to hear from you, deep inside.

Then I ask the parents to share their letters with each other.

The commentators on the Shulchan Aruch write that one should not put a stumbling block before the blind. If, from the age when kids begin to develop their own self-awareness, their parents do not respect them, this will induce the kids to transgress honoring them. When the parents don’t listen or see their kids, they are putting a stumbling block before them.

Rav Kook writes that emunah (belief) and ahavah (love) are inextricably linked. Emunah without ahavah is empty. We can’t let our religious beliefs eclipse our love for people, all the more so for our children. God has chosen and entrusted us to be the parents of these kids. It’s not about us.

We are parenting in turbulent times. Parenting from rock bottom can teach us that underneath it all our relationship with our kids is extremely fragile. We need to remember: it’s not about us. We need to be “all-in,” and, despite all that their behavior may indicate, our kids still need us.

How to handle lonely night situation for a lady

As per _Indian Penal Code_ 233. If a girl is suspected to be raped or getting raped, then she has the supreme right to *kill* the man, or *harm* that person as dangerously and girl won't be blamed for *murder*. Tell as many as you can its your power create awareness. Share this as many as you can

1. What should a *woman* do if she finds herself alone in the company of a strange male as she prepares to enter a lift in a High Rise apartment late at night …?????

Experts Say : Enter the lift ……… If you need to reach the 13th floor, *press all the buttons up to your destination*. No one will dare attack you in a lift that stops on every floor.

2. What to do if a stranger tries to attack you when you are alone in your house, run into the kitchen.

Experts Say : You alone know where the *chili powder and turmeric* are kept. And where the knives and plates are. All these can be turned into deadly weapons. If nothing else, start throwing plates and utensils all over. Let them break. *Scream*… Remember that noise is the greatest enemy of a molester. He does not want to be caught.

3. Taking an Auto or Taxi at Night.

Experts Say : Before getting into an auto at night, note down its *registration* number. Then use the *mobile* to call your family or friend and pass on the details to them in the language the driver understands. Even if no one answers your call, pretend you are in a conversation. The driver now knows someone has his details and he will be in serious trouble if anything goes wrong. He is now bound to take you home safe and sound. A potential attacker is now your de facto protector.

4. What if the driver turns into a street he is not supposed too and you feel you are entering a danger zone …

Experts Say : Use the *handle* of your purse or your stole (dupatta) to wrap around his neck and pull him back. Within seconds, he will feel choked and helpless. In case you don’t have a purse or stole just pull him back by his *collar*. The top button of his shirt would then do the same trick.

5. If you are stalked at night …

Expert Say : enter a shop or a house and explain your predicament. If it is night and shops are not open, go inside an *ATM box*. ATM centers always have close circuit television. Fearing identification, no one will dare attack you.

After all, being mentally alert is the greatest weapon you can ever have.