पौराणिक विज्ञान

पौराणिक विज्ञान

रात्रि के अंतिम प्रहर में एक बुझी हुई चिता की भस्म पर अघोरी ने जैसे ही आसन लगाया, एक प्रेत ने उसकी गर्दन जकड़ ली और बोला- मैं जीवन भर विज्ञान का छात्र रहा और जीवन के उत्तरार्ध में तुम्हारे पुराणों की विचित्र कथाएं पढ़कर भ्रमित होता रहा। यदि तुम मुझे पौराणिक कथाओं की सार्थकता नहीं समझा सके तो मैं तुम्हे भी इसी भस्म में मिला दूंगा।

अघोरी बोला- एक कथा सुनो, रैवतक राजा की पुत्री का नाम रेवती था। वह सामान्य कद के पुरुषों से बहुत लंबी थी, राजा उसके विवाह योग्य वर खोजकर थक गये और चिंतित रहने लगे। थक-हारकर वो योगबल के द्वारा पुत्री को लेकर ब्रह्मलोक गए। राजा जब वहां पहुंचे तब गन्धर्वों का गायन समारोह चल रहा था, राजा ने गायन समाप्त होने की प्रतीक्षा की।
गायन समाप्ति के उपरांत ब्रह्मदेव ने राजा को देखा और पूछा- कहो, कैसे आना हुआ?

राजा ने कहा- मेरी पुत्री के लिए किसी वर को आपने बनाया अथवा नहीं?
ब्रह्मा जोर से हंसे और बोले- जब तुम आये तबतक तो नहीं, पर जिस कालावधि में तुमने यहाँ गन्धर्वगान सुना उतनी ही अवधि में पृथ्वी पर २७ चतुर्युग बीत चुके हैं और २८ वां द्वापर समाप्त होने वाला है, अब तुम वहां जाओ और कृष्ण के बड़े भाई बलराम से इसका विवाह कर दो, अच्छा हुआ की तुम रेवती को अपने साथ लाए जिससे इसकी आयु नहीं बढ़ी।

इस कथा का वैज्ञानिक संदर्भ समझो- आर्थर सी क्लार्क ने आइंस्टीन की थ्योरी ऑफ़ रिलेटिविटी की व्याख्या में एक पुस्तक लिखी है- मैन एंड स्पेस, उसमे गणना है की यदि 10 वर्ष का बालक यदि प्रकाश की गति वाले यान में बैठकर एंड्रोमेडा गैलेक्सी का एक चक्कर लगाये तो वापस आनेपर उसकी आयु ६६ वर्ष की होगी पर धरती पर 40 लाख वर्ष बीत चुके होंगे। यह आइंस्टीन की time dilation theory ही तो है जिसके लिए जॉर्ज गैमो ने एक मजाकिया कविता लिखी थी-

There was a young girl named Miss Bright,
Who could travel much faster than light
She departed one day in an Einstein way
And came back previous night

प्रेत यह सुनकर चकित था, बोला- यह कथा नहीं है, यह तो पौराणिक विज्ञान है, हमारी सभ्यता इतनी अद्भुत रही है, अविश्वसनीय है। तभी तो आइंस्टीन पुराणों को अपनी प्रेरणा कहते थे।

अघोरी मुस्कुराता रहा और प्रेत वायु में विलीन हो गया।

हम विश्व की सबसे उन्नत संस्कृति हैं यह विश्वास मत खोना।
ओउम् नमो: शिवाय।

E... life

The ...E... life  !!!!!

In this world of E-mails, E-ticket, E-paper, E-recharge, E-transfer and the latest E-Governance..E- commerce.

Never Forget "E-shwar ( God )"

who makes e-verything e-asy for e-veryone e-veryday.

"E" is the most Eminent letter of the English alphabet.

Men or Women don't exist without "E".

House or Home can't be made without "E".

Bread or Butter can't be found without "E".

"E" is the beginning of "existence" and the end of "trouble."

It's not at all in 'war'
but twice in 'peace'.

It's once in 'hell' but twice in 'heaven'.

"E" represented in 'Emotions'
Hence,  all emotional relations like Father, Mother, Brother, Sister,wife & friends have 'e' in them.

"E" also represents 'Effort' & 'Energy'
Hence to be 'Better' from good  two "e"s are added in better.

Without "e", we would have no love, life, wife, friends or hope

& 'see', 'hear', 'smell', or 'taste' as 'eye' 'ear', 'nose' & 'tongue' are incomplete without "e".

Finally no 'Life' & 'Death' without "e".

Hence GO with "E"
but without E-GO.

Tips to marry rich guys

Tips to marry rich guys 

Most of the girls want to marry rich guys. It is very unfortunate how men are reduced to price tags. Similarly, a girl called Pooja Chohan asked Mukesh Ambani on a forum for tips to marry rich guys like him. She was asking direct questions like where do rich guys hangout and how can she impress them. Mukesh Ambani’s reply to this rich husband seeking girl on a forum is totally to the point.
Salute to Mukesh Ambani for being so brutally honest to the girl and trying to make her see reality.

Here is what the girl wrote:

I’m going to be honest to what I’m going to say here.

I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with 100 crore annual salary or above.

You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary 2 crore is considered only as middle class now days..

My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of 100 crore annual salary? Are you all married?

I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?

Among those I’ve dated, the richest is 50 crore annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.

If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), 50 crore annual income is not enough.

I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)

2) Which age group should I target?

3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.

4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pooja I Chohan.

 

This is the amazing reply Mukesh Ambani gave to the girl:

 

Dear Ms. Pooja,

I ( Mukesh Ambani, Reliance Group ) have read your post with great interest.

Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.

My annual income is more than 100 crore, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty” and “money”: Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.

However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t be prettier year after year.

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I ( Mukesh Ambani ) am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a “trading position”.

If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term – same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased”.

Anyone with over 100 crore annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with 100 crore annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

(Signed)

Mukesh Ambani

Illeterate dunhill

Illiterate Dunhill 

This is absolutely mind blowing

A church in London had rules that it would not employ anyone, without formal high school education. The old pastor was benign and not a stickler of rules.  He allowed Alfred (who lacked formal education) as the caretaker to clean the pews, sweep the floor and keep the podium spick and span.

Alfred had put off taking his high school examination till it became too late.

Once the old pastor retired, he was replaced by a younger person who followed the rule book.  As he came to know about the caretaker’s education, he issued a notice to him that either he should get a high school certificate in six months or he should resign.

Alfred knew that you could not teach an old dog new tricks and that he had no option but to resign.

He started out his afternoon stroll in deep thought and got into Bond Street.  Suddenly, he felt an urge to smoke. He could not find a single tobacco shop on the entire street.

He walked further down into a side street where he could purchase his cigarette.  He came back to the busy Bond Street. He realized that a small cigarette shop in the street would be a sound business proposition.

He resigned at the church and started a small shop on Bond Street which prospered way beyond his expectations.  He noticed that many of his customers were coming from the other side of the street.  He started another shop on that side of Bond Street.
The two shops multiplied to four and then sixteen In three years, Alfred Dunhill Co. was soon a leading tobacconist in England.

He started machine-rolling cigarettes and introduced his own brand of Dunhill cigarettes. In five years, he was a millionaire many times over.

To ensure a consistent supply of tobacco, he entered into an annual purchase agreement with a couple of American tobacco farmers and went across to America to meet them.

It was a big boost for the American tobacco farmers and the contract signing ceremony was converted into a media circus, with a Senator and Governor participating.

When the contracts were actually signed, Dunhill affixed his thumb impression because he had not learnt to sign his name.

The Governor was impressed and said, “Well Sir! This is awesome.  Even without a formal education you have achieved so much. Just imagine what would you have done if you had a formal education!”

Dunhill’s characteristic, often repeated reply, was,

“If I knew how to read and write, I would still be sweeping the church!”

Believe it or not

FUN FACTS

• A pumping human heart can squirt blood 30ft.

• The "richest" country in the world (the US) would lose that place if you excluded just the top 5% of wealth holders.

• YouTube was originally a video dating site called "Tune In Hook Up."

• Steve Jobs never wrote a single line of programming code.

• Einstein's brain was 15% wider than average.

• Potato skins are packed with 60 phyto-chemicals, many of these are flavonoids which help lower bad cholesterol and keep arteries clear.

• File-sharing is an official religion in Sweden.

• 1 million earths could fit into the sun.

• Cockroaches are one of the most fart-producing creatures on the planet.

• Modern clocks are actually more consistent than Earth's orbit around the Sun, which can vary by several milliseconds a year.

• False Awakening is when you're dreaming that you've woken up, but you are actually still in deep sleep.

• Rubbing a cucumber slice on your bathroom mirror will keep it from fogging up.

• The Pineberry is a white strawberry that tastes like a pineapple.

• The average person walks the equivalent of five times around the world throughout their lifetime.

• An estimated 50-80% of all life on Earth is found in the ocean.

• Approximately 1% of the world's population is drunk at any given moment.

• In 2012, Singapore, a country of over 5 million people, experienced 80 days in which no robberies or thefts were reported.

• Blue whales are so big, that a human can swim through their largest veins and arteries.